What is the Perineum?

The perineum is present in both men and women. It is supplied by the pudendal nerve and many other nerve endings, which makes receiving touch in this area pleasurable to some people. This has earned it the credit of being an erogenous zone. The perineal area in men is about two times as long as in women. Sometimes the perineum is also referred to as the “P spot” or “male G spot”. Perineum stimulation and male perineum massage are popular ways to help people achieve better orgasms and often also stronger orgasms.

Where is the Perineum Located?

In both sexes, the perineum is located between the external genitalia and the anus. For women, the perineum is the area between the anus and the opening of the vagina. In men, it is the zone between the anus and the scrotum. There is some variability in how the boundaries of the perineum are defined.

The official medical definition of the perineum refers to it as a diamond-shaped area, split into two triangles. They are called the urogenital triangle and the anal triangle. The latter is the area around the anus and is the same for both genders. The urogenital triangle includes the clitoris, urethra, and vaginal opening in women, and the penis and scrotum in men.

What’s it all for? The perineum’s anatomical function is to support the pelvic organs, such as the uterus, bladder, and intestines.

Perineum Stimulation and Male Perineum Massage

So now that you know where it’s located and what it’s for – curious as to how to put it to work for your pleasure? To administer a male perineum massage is to start at the anus. You want to locate what feels like a cable of fibers that run vertically under the skin, from around the anus to the base of the penis. It will feel like a wide rope. Once you have located it, place your index and middle fingers on either side of the cable. Gently press and move your fingers back and forth across the rope, slowly making your way up towards the base of the penis. This massage should not be painful at all; if it is, you are pushing too hard. Spend several seconds massaging one area before moving on to the next.

Many men also enjoy the feeling of having their perineum licked and teased with a tongue or fingers. Perineum stimulation can be combined with other forms of play in this area.  Sliding your index finger into the anus to stimulate the prostate, while simultaneously using your thumb or tongue to provide pleasure to the perineum is a popular technique. There are also sex toys on the market that can aid in male perineum massage. Some vibrating cock rings are designed to put vibrating pressure on the perineal area.

Perineal Massage for Women

Perineal massage is a technique that is often used in pregnant women. It helps to prep the perineal tissue for stretching and avoid tearing when the baby comes. However, this practice need not be restricted to pregnant women; any woman can enjoy a perineal massage.

In women, the perineal massage does not need to be restricted to the small area of skin we refer to as the perineum. Perineum play can also be had by inserting a thumb or index finger about an inch into the vagina. Gently press down (towards the anus) and then back and forth along the sides of the vagina. One way to imagine this motion is as if you are tracing your thumb on the inside of a bowl from one side to the other.

Another great technique for perineum stimulation is with the tongue. It can be incorporated into oral sex. In fact, for many women, the break from clitoral stimulation – while a partner gives attention to the perineum – can help increase the sensation upon return to the clitoris.

In Tantra, one technique for stimulating the perineum is called The Black Lotus. To perform this technique, during oral sex, you gently press on the perineum and then let go. Repeat this several times, each time gradually increasing the pressure. Make sure to stay tuned to your partner’s reaction. If she tenses up, the pressure is likely too much and you will need to slow down.

What Oil to Use for Perineal Massage

Whether the person receiving the perineal massage is a man or a woman, it is always a good idea to make sure the perineum is well lubricated. This helps avoid irritating the sensitive tissue. Coconut oil is a great lubricant because it is all-natural and well-tolerated by most individuals.

Perineum Orgasm

Every person’s nervous system is wired differently. This applies to the perineum in particular, as the amount of nerves in this area differs from person to person. Some people may be able to have a perineum orgasm from perineum stimulation alone. But for most, the perineum is more of an edging accessory to orgasmic pleasure. Some men find that having their perineum stroked in the moments leading up to orgasm – particularly if they’re engaged in edging – can intensify the sensations of the orgasm.

Perineum stimulation doesn’t have to be just manual, however. Feel free to bring in sex toys, such as bullet vibrators for more precise perineal pleasure. Or you can even use a Hitachi magic wand between the legs to get some extra intense perineum stimulation. Many men and women report an increase in the intensity of their orgasm when they receive perineal stimulation at the same time they are climaxing. It’s worth the time to play around a bit and find out if perineum orgasm is something you can incorporate in your sex life.

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Celeste Hirschman
Celeste Hirschman, MA is the Co-Creator of the Somatica® Method and Co-Founder of Somatica® Institute. She trains coaches in the Somatica® Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching. She has her own private practice in San Francisco, where she works with clients to have profoundly pleasurable and fulfilling lives. She has co-authored multiple academic articles published in peer-reviewed journals and is the co-author of two books, Cockfidence - The Definitive Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild and Making Love Real - The Intelligent Couples Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion. Celeste has her MA in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University (SFSU) and her BA in Women’s Studies from the University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC). Celeste has taken the Hakomi Pro-Skills Training as well as multiple other trainings on sexuality and relationships. Celeste also has a Certification in Sexological Bodywork from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS).