How to Become a Relationship Coach

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There is not one definitive answer to the question of how to become a relationship coach. Relationship coach certification is just one way to enter this field with confidence, but there are many different programs and offerings available.

Learn about what to consider when deciding if relationship coaching is the right field for you, and the diverse ways people seek training and certification in order to become coaches.

The Field Of Relationship Coaching Is Growing

In recent years, the field of relationship coaching has seen a huge increase in client interest and demand. As more and more people make conscious and thoughtful decisions around how they relate with one another, people are seeking outside assistance to optimize those interactions. While relationship therapy certainly has an important place in society, relationship coaching offers practical problem-solving in a safe space.

How Do You Fit As A Relationship Coach?

Many prospective coaches come into this growing field because they have other similar educational or professional backgrounds. They feel not only drawn to, but also uniquely prepared for a career in relationship coaching. Others have the simple, but profound desire to help people and see the ever-increasing need for professionals who can facilitate healthy and lasting relationships.

Before we tell you how to become a relationship coach, we want to share a few ways to better understand the demands of the field, and how you may already be uniquely qualified.

Ask Yourself These Questions:

    • Do you enjoy work schedule flexibility?
      Relationship coaches generally set their own schedules and act as their own bosses. If you are accustomed to a 9-to-5 work day and like that sort of rhythm and structure, this may not be the field for you. Coaches who enjoy creating their own schedules, having time flexibility and running their own business, tend to thrive in this field.
    • Are you endlessly fascinated by interpersonal relationships?
      Do you spend much of your time thinking about how people relate? Are you interested in what makes healthy relationships thrive, and what hurdles people need to overcome? Maybe you are a voracious reader of self-help and sex therapy books, love watching films and analyzing body language, or are an artist who has always wanted to capture how people interact. This fascination and deep interest with the human condition positions relationship coaching as a solid career choice you can be passionate about.
    • Do people already bring their relationship problems to you?
      Many relationship coaches find their way into the professional field because they have long acted as an informal coach for friends and family for years. Are you someone people often confide in around their sex and relationship issues? If so, becoming a coach might be a great path for you.
    • Are you non-judgmental?
      Being a relationship coach means having an open mind and helping couples find the best solutions for their unique circumstances. If you are someone who often thinks they are right and have a hard time seeing multiple perspectives, you will struggle in this field. On the other hand, if you are compassionate, with the intuitive ability to accept that people have different needs, you are well-positioned to be an effective teacher and coach to your clients.

If you answered the above questions with an enthusiastic ‘yes’, you can start exploring the relationship coach certification path that is right for you.

Becoming a Relationship Coach includes uniting people

Your Own Relationship Coach Training & Certification Path

Since everyone starts with their own abilities and backgrounds, we want to help you understand how you, personally, can begin your training and certification to become a relationship coach.

Step 1 – Self-Assessment

You need many diverse skills to become a successful relationship coach. If your background is already in coaching, you will likely possess many of the necessary skills – including time management, planning, goal setting, supporting and monitoring progress.

In relationship coaching, you also often need to balance both your client’s individual and collective goals. Working with a couple’s dynamic is yet a wholly different skill altogether. If your background is in counseling or therapy, you may need to focus on gaining coaching skills.

Here is a brief list of skills and personality prerequisites needed to become a professional, certified relationship coach:

  • Empathy
  • Communication Tools
  • Marketing/Self-Promotion/Networking
  • Time Management
  • Goal Setting and Tracking
  • Facilitation
  • Patience
  • Relationship Style Awareness
  • In-depth Sexual Knowledge
  • Gender and Sexual Identity Compassion
  • Monogamy and Non-Monogamy Dynamic Awareness
  • Ability to Relate and Building Interpersonal Trust

Step 2 – Identify Your Skill Gaps

After you have assessed the skills needed for how to become a relationship coach, you can better decide where to focus your energy and training. While there are many different ways to build these skills, the right relationship coach certification program can fast-track you to success and give you a way to show clients your commitment and training.

Step 3 – Find The  Appropriate Training

When seeking a specific relationship coach training, make sure it will help you gain the appropriate tools and frameworks to truly reach your clients and excel in this field. Some prospective coaches feel ready to mentor couples through relationship problems, but lack the information or skill set to assist couples who are struggling with complex sexual issues. While sex may not be a focus in your training, attaining some tools around helping couples overcome sexual problems is essential. There are many routes, but reading about What Is A Sex Coach is a good start.

Step 4 – Practice

Even after you have become a certified relationship coach, expect to spend some more time practicing your skills. This may mean offering free or discounted sessions, or role-playing with fellow students. Some relationship coaching programs emphasize practice throughout their training sessions, while others ask you to find practice clients outside the training and have you report on these sessions.

Step 5 – Never Stop Learning

One of the amazing things about becoming a relationship coach is that you will always have more to learn. Continue to do research, read the latest literature on relationships, and partake in specific trainings to stay interested, engaged, and relevant in the field. Many coaching schools offer short workshops and trainings as well as major certifications.

Specializing as a Relationship Coach

Once you become a relationship coach you can begin to focus and specialize. This will help you find the right clients – and will help the right clients find you. Some examples of specialties are LGBTQ clients, recovering from affairs, sexual dysfunction, parenting, or open relationships. You have time to decide about this, but having a sense of your interests will help guide your training process as well.

Relationship Coach Certification

Now that you understand how to become a relationship coach you can begin researching the right relationship coach certification program for you from an informed place.

This page provides a great start on your journey – or click below to learn more about the free intro to Somatica in SF or NYC.

Find a professional sex coach near you or by expertise now.

Danielle Harel
Danielle Harel
Dr. Danielle Harel is the the co-creator of the Somatica® Method and the co-founder of the Somatica® Institute. She has a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality (DHS), a graduate degree in Clinical Social Work (MSW), and a Bachelors (BA) degree in Psychology and Educational Counseling.

As a somatic sexologist, professor, and author, Danielle has devoted the last 20 years to resolving her client’s sexual challenges, training sex & relationship coaches, and empowering people. Harnessing her extensive training in sexology, psychology, and body-based modalities like Hakomi, attachment theory, character theory, and neuro-patterning, she guides people in reaching their fullest personal, professional, and sexual potential.

In addition to being faculty at Esalen and teaching the Advanced Somatica Training and Mastery Classes, Danielle has most recently embraced the adventure of co-producing the TV series Here She Comes – an episodic based on the Somatica Method (currently in production).

Before that, she published original research on Orgasmic Birth, and co-authored 3 books with Celeste Hirschman: Cockfidence, Making Love Real, and Coming Together.

She has also written extensively on sex, relationships, and dating, and is frequently quoted as an expert resource in publications.

To everything she does, Danielle brings her unparalleled passion, depth, intuition, and magnetizing personality.

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