What is Edging?

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Over the past years, the trend of edging has gained in popularity, leaving the uninitiated curious and wondering: what is edging? What are the benefits of edging? And – how do you edge yourself?

So – What is Edging?

In simple terms: Edging is a sexual technique to delay orgasm while maintaining a high level of arousal.

Most men can control their own edging and orgasm timing with masturbation. But the technique also applies to the act of stimulating your partner to the edge of orgasm while prolonging pleasure. Men are more likely to practice edging, but it can also be a wonderful, multi-layered experience for women  as well.


There are several benefits of edging:

  1. Longer Sexual Encounters – Edging can allow for partners to prolong sexual encounters by having control over their own or their partner’s orgasm timing.
  2. Longer Intensity – While lasting sexual encounters can be great, it’s also about the quality of the experience. Edging allows for prolonged high levels of pleasure and stimulation.
  3. Simultaneous Orgasms – Some people use this technique to be able to time their orgasms with their partners. This can work for intercourse, mutual masturbation, or even remote sexual encounters.
  4. More Powerful Orgasms – Men who have learned to stay at the edge find their orgasms to be stronger, more powerful and intense than ever before.
  5. More Cum Volume and Distance – Edging can also increase the amount of cum you produce since each time you get to the edge, more ejaculate accumulates.
  6. Power Play – Many men enjoy the experience of giving up power to their partner. One form of edging play, called “tease and denial,” can be a great way take control of your partner’s body and make them do exactly what you want them to do. Tease and denial is when you only let your partner orgasm when you are ready for them to. You might get them close to the edge over and over again until they beg you to let them orgasm.

While this list of benefits is hardly exhaustive, it should give you a sense of why this technique is worth exploring.

Edging Tips for Men

Male edging is a common technique that is not just about lasting longer, but about understanding their levels of arousal and how to navigate them. Here are some techniques to apply – for yourself or your partner – when practicing finding the male edge.

Arousal Scale

Many people think of arousal on a 10 point or 5 point scale. A 10 point scale – where 0 is no arousal – is more applicable to striving for a prolonged high level of arousal. Maintaining a high level of arousal (between 7-9) is the goal, while also understanding that everyone has their own “PNR” (Point of No Return, where reaching orgasm is inevitable). One practice is just to begin noting your level of arousal and trying to feel the different levels and, if applicable, share these with your partner. Remember, if edging is effective, your scale may shift as your capacity for pleasure expands.

How To Edge Yourself

One good way to start practicing how to edge yourself is by having a timed masturbation session. You can think of the art of edging as a 5-step practice session:

  1. Initial stimulation (scale 2-3) – Pick a place with no distractions and set a timer (start with a little longer than you usually last and increase over time). Paying close attention to your sensations, begin stimulating your penis. As you become erect, keep the stimulation steady and pay attention to your breath.
  2. Building arousal (scale 4-6) – Continue to stroke your penis, but avoid any areas that may be particularly sensitive.
  3. Stopping and dropping down (scale varies) – Depending on your threshold and your point of no return, now is the time to either climb a bit closer to orgasm, or to take a break and slow down.
  4. Building back up – (scale 6-8) This time, climb a bit closer to your threshold for orgasm, paying attention to what happens in your penis. Do you feel the blood flow increase, creating an even harder erection? What are the internal and external cues you can pay attention to let you know when you are getting too close to the PNR?
  5. Repeat steps 3-4 – Building your arousal level and stopping as needed for the time you want. Every time you should try and get closer to a high level and drop down.

Over time, following this edging guide, you can increase your control and ability to stay at the male edge for longer.

How Can a Sex Coach Help with Edging?

A talk-based or clothes-on experiential sex coach, like a Somatica Practitioner, can be your guide. They can answer questions in-depth around what is edging, what are the benefits of edging, and give you tips and trick on how to edge yourself.

Additionally, there are sexological bodyworkers who can help you practice because they are specifically trained in masturbation witnessing and coaching.

A sexological bodyworker may simply watch you masturbate to help you lower shame and stay with your masturbation practice for a longer time. They may encourage you to practice self-control, body awareness and expanded masturbation, giving you the tools to make your masturbation more varied and interesting.

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Celeste Hirschman
Celeste Hirschmanhttps://www.somaticainstitute.com/faculty/celeste-hirschman/
Celeste Hirschman is the is the co-creator of the Somatica® Method and the co-founder of the Somatica® Institute. She received an MA in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University, and a BA in Women’s Students from UCSC.

In her teaching and coaching, Celeste routinely draws on her extensive training in attachment psychology, sociology, gender studies, and body-based modalities like Hakomi. She uses these embodied learning principles to help students and clients tap into their own somatic wisdom, deepen their experiences of pleasure, and realize their full personal and professional potential.

A prolific writer, Celeste researched and published a defining paper on adolescent sexuality development in 2006, during her tenure at SFSU’s Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality.

Since then, she has co-authored 3 books with Danielle Harel: Cockfidence, Making Love Real, and Coming Together. She writes frequently and is generally the first expert journalists turn to for quotes and information on sex, dating, and relationships.

No matter what she does – whether she is co-producing the sex-coaching-based TV series Here She Comes, or teaching at the legendary Esalen Institute – Celeste always brings her unconditional love, scintillating presence, erotic energy, and insight to every part of her work.

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