Most people only scratch the surface of their potential for erotic pleasure. But even if you already experience high levels of sexual pleasure and release, you have probably wondered if you could have even stronger, more intense orgasms. The answer is (most likely) a resounding ‘yes’.

The best way to find out how to have a better orgasm is by researching and testing some specific orgasm techniques. Remember, exploring this process should be a fun, open, and playful adventure. It is, after all, about pleasure.

If you struggle with anorgasmia (inability to orgasm) read more about its causes and treatments here.

4 Orgasm Techniques For Men

Orgasms are pretty great – which is all the more reason to make them even better. For many men, as soon as they discover their ability to orgasm, they seek this experience as much as possible. But it can also start to feel like physical maintenance, and men’s pleasure in orgasming often plateaus. Here are four ways you can start building up your techniques for more satisfying, better orgasms, either solo or with a partner.

Edging

This is a orgasm technique where you bring yourself to “the edge” without going all the way. This allows for a tense build-up and stronger release many people find well worth waiting for. [Learn more about edging here.]

Presence

This may sound simple, but it isn’t. While porn can be a great way to seek erotic stimulation, it can also bring people into their heads and lead to disconnected and redundant physical experiences. By enhancing presence you can learn how to have a better orgasm. Try these three steps to attain deeper presence:

  1. Take deep breaths – Take slow deep breaths, sending them all the way down to your pelvic floor and feeling your connection with your penis.
  2. Focus on the physical – As you give yourself touch or receive touch, notice each touch on your body.
  3. Use your own imagination – While some people think that fantasizing takes you away from presence, it doesn’t have to. It can take you deeper into your own erotic mind. Instead of letting pornography shape your fantasy world, come up with your own creative and varied fantasies.

Prostate Stimulation

There are many different ways to engage the prostate gland – and it’s also a great way to learn how to make orgasms more intense. Prostate pleasure can come from inserting a finger into the anus and stimulating the prostate gland. Anal stimulation can engage the prostate, but so can perineum (or taint) stimulation. By attending to a whole other area of stimulation, you literally increase the surface area of your pleasure.

 

How to Have A Better Orgasm Through Layering

Layering is a term coined by sex coaches Celeste & Danielle. It describes a way to add multiple kinds of stimulation, creating a cascade of pleasure by layering different kinds of stimuli, audio, visual, etc. Layering can teach how to have a better orgasm throughout the body and lead to a stronger finish. Here are some layering highlights:

  1. Focus on the visual – Men often get really turned on by seeing their partner naked, in sexy lingerie, or in a nice leather or latex outfit. Asking your partner to wear something sexy for or asking them to get in different positions that turn you on can make orgasms more intense.
  2. Bring in the balls – While penises often get most of the attention, so much orgasmic intensity can be achieved with a little special attention to the balls. Let your partner know if you like your balls held, licked, squeezed, pulled or petted. All of these can be done during a blow job and, if your partner is adept, she can also play with your balls while you are inside her in missionary, doggie, spooning or woman-on-top positions.
  3. Ask your partner to seduce you – Sometimes it can be tiring to always be the one to have to do the seduction. It can be extremely arousing to have your partner open the door in something sexy, or go after you in the middle of the day when you least expect it. Ask your partner if she is willing to do so, and let her know how much it would turn you on!
  4. Share some dirty talk – Nothing enhances psychological arousal like some good dirty talk. You might get extra turned on by saying sexual things to your partner, or having them said to you – or both. Try initiating some dirty talk and see how your partner responds. Also, if there are some specific things she can say that you know will make your orgasms more intense, let her know your special sentences.
  5. Squeeze the penis – You may want to be careful about consistently squeezing your penis too hard during masturbation because it can make it harder to have orgasms with a partner. However, a good strong grip by you or your partner can sometimes be the thing that really blasts your orgasm out of the park. Your partner can squeeze your penis with their hand. They can also tighten the muscles in their vagina or anus while you are inside. A good hard suck can also feel like a squeeze.
  6. Tease the penis – On the opposite side of the spectrum from squeezing is teasing. Penises often get touched too hard, too fast. Slow licking or teasing with a hand can make the intensity build more gradual. For some men, a long slow build will result in a much stronger, more intense orgasm.
  7. Learn your turn-on – Psychological arousal can be one of the biggest pathways to a stronger, better orgasm. if you don’t yet know what turns you on the most, it may be helpful to explore all of the options and expand what’s on your menu.

How a Sex Coach can Teach You How to Have a Better Orgasm

One way a sex coach, and especially a hands-on sex coach, can be most helpful in teaching you how to have a better orgasm is through helping you explore and expand on your turn-ons. An experiential sex coach, such as a Somatica Practitioner, can talk openly about the kinds of fantasies you have and how best to meet them out in the world.

A Somatica Sex Coach can also practice dirty talk with you and different kinds of clothes-on experiences that flesh out your hottest sexual movie. For example, you might think you are aroused by dominance, but never felt comfortable trying it with a partner because you don’t know how to do it properly. They could teach you the tools of dominance and then you can play out a scene with them to see if it is arousing for you.

In addition, sexological bodyworkers can help you learn breathwork techniques, self-touching and touching techniques that intensify your orgasmic experience.

If you’re interested in learning how to have a better orgasm with the help of a sex coach, you can use this directory to help you find an experienced sex coach near you. 

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Celeste Hirschman
Celeste Hirschman, MA is the Co-Creator of the Somatica® Method and Co-Founder of Somatica® Institute. She trains coaches in the Somatica® Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching. She has her own private practice in San Francisco, where she works with clients to have profoundly pleasurable and fulfilling lives. She has co-authored multiple academic articles published in peer-reviewed journals and is the co-author of two books, Cockfidence - The Definitive Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild and Making Love Real - The Intelligent Couples Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion. Celeste has her MA in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University (SFSU) and her BA in Women’s Studies from the University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC). Celeste has taken the Hakomi Pro-Skills Training as well as multiple other trainings on sexuality and relationships. Celeste also has a Certification in Sexological Bodywork from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS).