At some point in your sexual practice, you may have come across the term “male edging” – describing the practice of delaying your orgasm. Perhaps you’ve even played around and tried some edging approaches on your own.
In our earlier article “What is Edging?”, we talked about specific techniques, and reasons why a man might want to try edging. We’d like to now expand and explain the benefits – and potential risks – a bit more in depth.
The Pleasurable Benefits of Male Edging
Men engage in edging for a host of titillating reasons:
- Physical Pleasure: Edging can keep you at the highest physical arousal – the stage just before orgasm – indefinitely. For many men, this zone is the most pleasurable part of sex. Edging becomes a way to stay there as long as possible and have better and stronger orgasms as a result.
- Psychological Pleasure: The psychological aspect of edging is also quite pleasurable, making you feel powerful, in control, and competent. You may fantasize about being a lover that can satisfy even the most insatiable partner. Or maybe even many partners, or see yourself as the best lover your partner has ever had. Holding yourself at the edge of orgasm can open the door to many different fantasies about you, your partner, or something different altogether.
- As an Orgasm Control Technique: If you are wondering how to last longer in bed naturally, male edging is your ticket. It can help delay orgasm for those who are experiencing early or premature ejaculation issues. For many men, this is the best way to learn how to control ejaculation, or to build up their pleasure tolerance before orgasm.
- To practice Male Orgasm Denial: For those playing in the realm of BDSM, denying orgasms can be fun and stimulating for the deny-er and the deny-ee. Having a partner get you very close to orgasm and then stop you from having it can be absolutely exhilarating. You may feel less responsible for your sexual gratification and surrender to an initiating, in-control partner. Thus, while male edging and male orgasm denial can be identical in terms of technique, they are very different in their psychological intent. They also stand apart when it comes to who is responsible for maintaining the edge. It’s necessary to have a honed communicative (verbal or non-verbal) sexual practice for your partner to keep you right at the edge. Just practicing getting there – with a few “mistakes” along the way – can be a lot of fun!
- Teasing Your Partner. If your partner enjoys seeing you have an orgasm, delaying it or teasing them by staying right at the edge, can be a fun and exciting game to play.
Is Edging Bad For You?
The answer is … it all depends. There are indeed some minor risks to male edging. They include:
- Loss of Embodiment or Presence: If you focus too intently on the mechanics of edging, there’s a chance you’ll lose touch with the rest of your body, your pleasure, or the connection to your partner. This is true for any sexual practice that involves a heavy focus on the penis for arousal, but is especially true for male edging. If you are only practicing edging as opposed to diversifying your erotic practices, edging may lose its pleasurable aspects.
- Insensitivity: Practicing male edging can build up tolerance to lower-sensation foreplay or lower-arousal sex. You come to feel less and less stimulation under lower-arousal conditions. Physical sensation – especially on the penis – may eventually wane with so much visceral contact and attention. If this is starting to happen to you, simply take a break from edging. Instead, focus more on all the sensual pleasure in the rest of your body. Edging will always be there when you’re ready to return to it!
- Disappointment in Orgasm: Male edging is a lot of fun and arousing for many men. However – if delaying your orgasm becomes the most important part of sex, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment when it actually does happen. Over time, the cumulative effect of these letdowns has the potential to make your orgasms disappointing in general.
- Inability to Orgasm: Male edging sometimes results in fatigue, and may make you unable to orgasm. This can happen due to simple exhaustion or over-stimulation (also called anorgasmia). You may end up with the opposite problem to early ejaculation – namely delayed ejaculation. So make sure you sometimes allow yourself to orgasm earlier just so you can maintain your ability to orgasm.
How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally
One of the main ways a sex coach can teach you how to last longer in bed naturally is actually through male edging.
A sex coach will guide you through the process by explaining a number of masturbation and breathwork techniques you can try at home. This will also include focusing on lowering your anxiety and helping you feel confident about your skills as a lover, no matter if you are able to control your ejaculation each time you have sex.