6 Steps to Overcoming Body Image Issues

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Do you often feel like something is wrong with your body? And because of that, you walk through the world feeling less confident, lovable, and desirable? You are not alone.

Many women believe if they don’t meet society’s ridiculous standards of attractiveness, they don’t deserve to be loved and have amazing sex. We want you to know that you can overcome any body image issue and love, be loved, and have mind-blowing sex at any shape, size, and age

Escaping the Shame Spiral

There is a pervasive belief that you can conquer your body image issues by changing your shape. This is rarely the case. Extensive research has shown that dieting doesn’t help you lose weight, and in most cases, you even gain more weight. 

If you try to change your body instead of accepting it, you usually end up making the problem worse. Often, there is a harmful shame spiral of endless dieting and gaining weight, plastic surgeries, or “beauty treatments” that do nothing but drain your bank account. And you never seem to get to a satisfying goal. 

The process of overcoming body image issues is internal. It is about self love and acceptance.

Self-confident woman, embracing herself with self love

How Social Media Affects Body Image 

Sick of the endless scroll for cellulite and wrinkle cream ads, muscles powders and penis pills? 

These days, social media influencers, photo filters, and a constant barrage of advertisements about changing your body relentlessly chip away at our sense of desirability and beauty. The effects on your body image and self-esteem are incredibly harmful and cannot be overstated.

In fact, social media is one of the biggest killers of self-esteem in our time. While there have been some attempts to counteract this terrible trend, these small steps have barely been able to stem the tide of low self-esteem caused by body image issues.   

Women’s Body Image in Society

In our society, men often experience praise – and thus a lot of self-esteem – from what they are able to do in the world (in the realm of work, providership, etc.). 

For women however, the societal focus is still on values like beauty rather than intellectual achievements. This means a woman’s negative body image can have a much greater impact on her overall self-worth compared to men. It implies that she has fewer sources of validation and self-esteem outside of her physical appearance. 

The ripple effects of negative body image are far reaching for women. They often feel self-conscious in interactions in every area of their lives – from work, to dating, to sex, and even in their friendships. They worry about what to wear, how they look, and how they’ll be perceived. Frequently, they compare themselves to their friends.

As a result, they may also only spectate during sex. Instead of being able to focus on their own pleasure, they are worried about whether something is jiggling, or having too much cellulite. 

Thus, overcoming female body image issues can help you feel more empowered in every area of your life. When you embrace a positive body image, you walk around in the world taller – with more confidence and ease.

Woman with a positive body image, delighting in her beauty

How to Accept Your Body 

The first step to accepting your body and feeling sexy at any size is to connect with your body as the center of your pleasure potential. Pleasure is a key need in all human beings. Exploring touch, sensuality, hugging, holding, and sexual arousal in your body can help you refocus your relationship to your body. 

Some women are wondering how they can ever feel attractive at a heavier weight and how to be confident in bed. The solution starts by addressing the term “overweight”. It  focuses on the objectification of women’s bodies, as opposed to the health or potential pleasure they provide. Remember – you can be physically healthy along a very big range of sizes. And most of all – you can experience deep sexual pleasure no matter what size you are. 

Overcome Body Image Issues With These 6 Steps

  1. Find one part of your body you love. Intentionally spread positive feelings towards that body part. Realize that nobody is perfect. 
  2. Engage in experiences that make your body feel warm, tingly, sensuous, and aroused. Examples are swimming, self-touch, dancing, masturbation, deep breathing or receiving a massage. When you are in these experiences, feel all the pleasure your body can give you. When you touch your body, notice the positive sensations in your body and your hands.
  3. Clear your home of anything that makes you feel bad about your body. This might mean that you get rid of your scale and any food that says “diet” on it. Maybe even cover your mirrors for a while if you find you are hyper focusing on the parts of your body you dislike.
  4. Find activities that make you feel healthy and strong as opposed to focusing on losing weight or getting thin. If anything you do feels like you are going on some pressure-filled self-improvement program, stop it immediately. Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t body-shame yourself. 
  5. When you eat, do so mindfully and notice the yummy, joyful feelings in your mouth and body.
  6. Wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable and sexy. 
Smiling plus size woman with a positive body image, holding a sign saying Curves are Beautiful

How a Body Image Coach Can Help You Love The Skin You’re In 

Embracing a positive body image is not just about loving the skin you’re in; it’s about reclaiming your power and agency in a world that often seeks to diminish them. By acknowledging and challenging the societal pressures and unrealistic standards that shape women’s body image, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. 

Often though, it’s not easy to fight the fight on your own. If you want support and guidance from a professional, consider talking to a body image coach. These professionals are trained to celebrate you and help you get rid of negative societal messages in your life

Remember – you deserve to feel confident, desirable, and empowered at any shape, size, and age. Through self-love, acceptance, and intentional practices that prioritize pleasure and well-being, you can overcome body image issues and embrace a more fulfilling and liberated relationship with your body. 

So go ahead, love yourself fiercely, and reclaim your place in the world with unapologetic confidence and grace.

Find a professional sex coach near you or by expertise now.

Danielle Harel
Danielle Harelhttps://www.somaticainstitute.com/faculty/danielle-harel/
Dr. Danielle Harel is the the co-creator of the Somatica® Method and the co-founder of the Somatica® Institute. She has a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality (DHS), a graduate degree in Clinical Social Work (MSW), and a Bachelors (BA) degree in Psychology and Educational Counseling.

As a somatic sexologist, professor, and author, Danielle has devoted the last 20 years to resolving her client’s sexual challenges, training sex & relationship coaches, and empowering people. Harnessing her extensive training in sexology, psychology, and body-based modalities like Hakomi, attachment theory, character theory, and neuro-patterning, she guides people in reaching their fullest personal, professional, and sexual potential.

In addition to being faculty at Esalen and teaching the Advanced Somatica Training and Mastery Classes, Danielle has most recently embraced the adventure of co-producing the TV series Here She Comes – an episodic based on the Somatica Method (currently in production).

Before that, she published original research on Orgasmic Birth, and co-authored 3 books with Celeste Hirschman: Cockfidence, Making Love Real, and Coming Together.

She has also written extensively on sex, relationships, and dating, and is frequently quoted as an expert resource in publications.

To everything she does, Danielle brings her unparalleled passion, depth, intuition, and magnetizing personality.

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