If you are one of those people who has always wondered how to find the G spot – wonder no more. We will help you get up to speed, explain what it is, how to awaken it and how to stimulate your g spot.

What is the G Spot?

The G spot – or Gräfenberg spot – was named after the German scientist Ernst Gräfenberg who discovered it. It is one of the main pleasure spots on a woman. The G spot is an area you can locate and stimulate on the upper wall of a woman’s vagina.If it gets the right amount of pressure and stimulation for the right amount of time, the sensation can build into a G spot orgasm.

How To Find the G Spot

Because you can’t readily see it, the G spot feels elusive, surrounded by secret and mystery. Physically, it is located right past the pelvic bone, on the upper wall of the vagina. You can get a good idea of how to find the G spot if you know what it feels like.

To get a sense of its location, try the following:

  1. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, right behind your teeth.
  2. Move the tip of tongue slightly inward and feel the bumpy part of the roof of your mouth.
  3. If you go a little farther back into your mouth with your tongue, there is a smooth area – this is a close approximation to what the G spot feels like.
  4. Inside the vagina, there is a rough area first; this is called the urethral sponge. Deeper inside, the vagina smooths out. This is where you’ll find your G spot. Pressure from your partner’s fingers on the smooth area gives the most pleasurable G spot sensation.

How Many G Spots Does a Woman Have?

If you are curious as to how many G spots a woman has – the answer is one. The G spot is actually more of an area of sensitivity than a spot, per se. This area can also move around inside the vagina throughout the month.

Every woman has a G spot and the potential for a G spot orgasm. However, the G spot can develop at different times for different women. In a small percentage of women, the G spot develops early in life and becomes a place where they feel a lot of sensation. For another set of women, the G spot doesn’t develop until later, and it can take weeks or sometimes even a year of consistent stimulation to feel pleasure from it.

Unfortunately, because women have been told the G spot is a myth, they give up exploring when they feel numbness or irritation from G spot stimulation. 

How to Awaken the G Spot

During penetration, a penis or dildo brushes across the G spot. If the G spot has not been awakened, this is unlikely to provide enough pressure and stimulation to lead to G spot pleasure or orgasm. It can be helpful to first awaken the G spot using fingers.

Beginning with fingers has two perks: you can try out a wide range of pressures, starting gently and slowly, working up to deeper, faster, more intense forms of stimulation. Secondly – fingers are very sensitive and can map the most responsive locations on or around the G spot. Having your partner massage the G spot while applying increasing pressure, speed, and intensity is the surest way to awaken and arouse the G spot in women. This is particularly true if you remember to breathe and relax and accept that it may not happen right away.

How to Stimulate the G Spot

Once you have found and awakened this pleasure point, the question becomes how to stimulate the G spot.

When massaged patiently, the G spot grows and expands. This is also when you might feel like you need to pee. Many women are worried and embarrassed that they might pee on their partner, so they hold back at the most important pre-orgasmic moment, tightening up instead of letting go. This stops them from experiencing the depth of orgasmic intensity that the G spot can provide. 

In your G spot explorations, give yourself plenty of time (at least an hour) and remember you don’t need to orgasm or ejaculate. Simply be receptive and feel what sensations are possible for you. Have your partner go slowly and lightly at first, and then build speed and pressure. Once you begin exploring the G spot, your clitoris might become less sensitive and/or more difficult to locate.

Make sure your partner tries lots of different strokes, speeds, and pressures. Give feedback about what feels best for you. Don’t forget, this is likely to change over the course of a day and over the weeks, months, and years of your life. As you become more aroused, you will generally be able to take more pressure. You may need a lot of pressure to orgasm from your G spot, or you may respond to lighter touch.

It’s also possible to awaken and stimulate your G spot with a G spot sex toy, designed specifically for that purpose. Some of them are simply shafts that have an upward curvature to apply pressure to your G spot. Other toys offer vibration options as well. While vibration is less important to the G spot than the clit, it can be very pleasurable to have vibration on your G spot.

How Can a Sex Coach Help You Find Your G Spot?

Now that you have all of the facts on how to find your G spot, it is time to go out and practice with yourself or a partner. If you or your partner feel any hesitancy around giving this new adventure a try, a visit to a sex coach can be helpful. 

Additionally, a hands-on sex coach – such a Somatica coach – is able to demonstrate how much massage pressure you might need to use on the G spot on your hand or somewhere else on your body.

If you would like a sex coach to show you more directly how to stimulate your G spot, you could consider working with a sexological bodyworker.

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Danielle Harel
Danielle Harel, PhD is the Co-creator of the Somatica® Method and the Co-Founder of the Somatica® Institute. She trains coaches in the Somatica® Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching. She has her own private practice in Sunnyvale, where she supports her clients in having amazing sex and relationships as well as passion-fueled lives. She has published original research on Orgasmic Birth and is the co-author of two books, Cockfidence - The Definitive Guide to Being the Man You Want to Be and Driving Women Wild and Making Love Real - The Intelligent Couples Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion. Danielle Has her Masters in Clinical Social Work From Haifa University in Israel and her PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS). She is a Clinical Sexologist and a Certified Sexological Bodyworker. Danielle is a Certified Body Positive Facilitator and took many trainings in embodied and mindfulness based therapeutic approaches such as Hakomi.