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Sex &
Sensuality
Relationships
Tantra |
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Top 10
Hot Men
- from a Sex Coach Perspective
Pam Babbitt, Editor & Sex Coach
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It all started with Sarah Palin. Whenever she steps into
the spotlight, multitudes of men around the country utter
simultaneously, ‘She’s hot!' Some are more verbose: 'Palin's so
hot she's the reason the polar ice cap is melting.' 'I'd love to
drill her for natural resources.' 'Hugh Hefner needs to call her.' And
Palin's internet admirers prematurely labeled her a VPILF(vice president
I'd like to f*#k).
Those multitudes of drooling men are
proclaiming to their partners, and anyone within ear shot, their
appreciation of Sarah Palin's physical attributes. Yet many (most?)
dislike her political views, her religious views, her human rights...
So, in a man's world, hot means attractive. Period. In a woman's world
'hot' is not so simply defined (women 'of a certain age' that is).
Gender differences fascinate me. And sometimes they confuse me. This
one amuses me:
Sarah Palin aside, have you noticed
how often men share with their partners - 'Wow! She’s hot.’ Or 'She's got
great legs'? My point
is: Men put it right out there – no holding back.
Have you noticed how often women share - 'Wow, he’s hot!'
or ‘built’ or ‘look at those buns’ when they are with their male
partners? Not so often.
Men admire hot women and see no reason why they shouldn’t
appraise and apprise without reservation. Women admire hot men, and are
conscious of why sharing with their partner may be a bad idea: They are
very aware of the fragility of the male ego. They know that men attach
physical attractiveness to sexual prowess. They know that their words
have power and can even negatively affect a man's sexual performance.
Could men use a bit more sensitivity, think before they speak?
Maybe. Could women benefit by side-stepping their reservations,
finding their words and speaking their truth? Maybe. Is this the true definition of 'gender balanced'? Maybe.
I agree that Sarah Palin is attractive, even classy, but
'hot'? Not! But then, my criteria is different than most
men's:
To me, there’s a critical difference between
attractive and
appealing. Attractive is purely physical. I have no interest in
getting to know a man just because he is attractive. Been there. But, if
a man has an easy smile, an engaging laugh, a bounce in his step, an
aura of kindness, a twinkle in his eye, the energy of confidence, and if
he is
fully present, invites interaction, gives without expectations, cares
for our planet... (tell me to stop), then my
interest is tweaked. That man appeals to me and is
certified HOT! A chiseled face, washboard abs, or a head of hair that
begs to be tousled are irrelevant.
The time is now! I'm psyched and ready to
plant both feet in that masculine energy and have that male experience of
proclaiming who's hot. So I will share my Top 10 Hot Men openly, without
reservation, and may even shout it from the mountain tops (I live in
Colorado). OR, maybe I'll make a list, check it twice, and then
publish it.
Gender differences are not obstacles, they are stepping stones
- opportunities for understanding, leading to greater inti-macy. Gender differences mesh with those juicy masculine-feminine polarities,
creating the mystery, longing, and challenges that call us in. Men
and women do not live on different planets. We walk the same path,
just in different shoes. And sometimes it is good thing to walk in another's shoes.
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These hot men are listed in no particular order. It is coincidental that Mick Fleetwood, my favorite,
is first. |
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1) Mick
Fleetwood
Mick is
passionate, sensitive, charismatic, artistic, creative,
and the man behind the drum kit of one of the greatest
bands - Fleetwood Mac.
At a concert this year, I appreciated the
talent of Stevie and Lindsey, but my eyes kept bypassing
them and gluing to Mick. His immense enjoyment of the
event was obvious. He played with childlike delight, and
played the drums as though they were an extension of his
soul. I swear I could hear his heart sing. And....I saw
no ego - just a man doing what brings him joy.
I loved being immersed in the musical
magic of Fleetwood Mac, and observing the Mighty Mick 'in the
flow' - he's hot! |
 2)
Craig Ferguson
In my book, comedians as a species are
just ok. Sometimes they are hilarious,
and sometimes
they are not. Craig Ferguson IS, and this is what lifts
him above
the rest: Craig cracks himself up, which is evident in his subtle and not so
subtle
facial expressions. Witnessing is mesmerizing.
Craig
excels at turning random thoughts into conversational
fodder. Did you see
his
octopuses and coconut shells monologue?
He loves
sharing his gift
of
humor and encouraging us to laugh at the absurdities
of life, and that makes him
hot! |
 3)
Barack Obama
Politics aside, Barack Obama emanates
love and respect for his wife - his equal partner. He
honors her for her brain, her beauty, and for those two
precious miracles - Sasha and Malia.
Words from
Barack: 'I would not be standing here tonight without
the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16
years ... the rock of our family, the love of my life,
the nation's next first lady ... Michelle Obama.'
'Sometimes, when we’re lying together, I look at her and
I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another
distinct person from me, who has memories, origins,
thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That
tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something
strong between us. Even if one builds a life together
based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I
think that it’s important that a partner continues to
surprise.'
In
this photo I see equality, support, and a mutual reach
toward the sky.
Hot, hot, hot!
Check out
5 Love Lessons We Can Learn From the Obamas,
by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., Sex Therapist
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 4) Sting
Sting’s latest album, If On a Winter’s
Night… is a haunting, spiritual and
reflective musical
journey that sits in my soul and sends chills down my
spine. Sting speaks
to the mysteries
of winter through carols, lullabies and
hymns
that span the centuries. Here's a taste of
If On a Winter's Night...
Soul Cake
is my favorite.
Sting supports human rights
organizations like the Rainforest Foundation (founded by
he and his wife to protect both the world’s rain forests
and the indigenous peoples who live there), Amnesty
International, and Live Aid.
Have
you
heard
those legendary reports of Sting and Tantric Sex?
He insists that the reports are false and
that he knows nothing of Tantra.
After viewing
this
video,
I beg to differ. He knows. And he's hot!
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5) Ben,
the Über Geek
Ben is
our website
developer at SexCoaching.com, a sage, a patient tutor,
and
a guiding light for
those of us who tend to lose our way (me). Since I know Ben
personally, I'm going to get down and dirty and talk
body parts:
Ben's body parts make me weak in the knees:
His hands are magnificent! - very manly and sexy as
hell. His fingers are thick - thick and strong, enough
to make a person's mind wander... As you can imagine, a
shoulder massage from Ben is like no other.
But
hands alone would not land Ben on this list. He has
another body part that is equally magnificent - his
heart. Ben's has an XXL heart, and every corner is
filled with caring and compassion. Ben is SUPER HOT!
P.S. He doesn't know that his
poker face is a dead give-away. |
6)
Leonard Cohen
Leonard's music gives me goose bumps. It is soulful,
bawdy and heralded for its seriousness and range.
His songs present vexing questions and invite elusive
answers on issues of sex, spirituality, religion, and power. Being an
accomplished literary figure before he began his music
career,
his songs 'reveal a literary quality rare in the
world of popular music, and his poetry and prose [are]
informed by a rich musicality.' Leonard is a
former Zen Monk, and he is very hot!
If you appreciate bawdy, have a listen -
I'm Your Man
Check out these
videos and
don't miss another favorite - Hallelujah
If you enjoy Leonard's music, don't miss this
documentary-concert.
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7) David
Deida
David Deida is an insightful, radical and
provocative spiritual teacher and best-selling author.
He writes on spiritual-sexual growth and sociocultural
evolution.
I once pegged
Deida as chauvinistic. I haven't rescinded that
and I haven't put him on a pedestal, but those thoughts
are no longer with me. As an avid student
and teacher of gender differences, masculine-feminine
polarity, and spiritual sexuality,
I've found Deida's
profound teachings to be eye-opening and invaluable.
David Deida is a sociocultural warrior.
The Way of the Superior Man is Deida's primary
sourcebook on masculine spiritual practice - for men who
want to live a life of integrity, authenticity, and
freedom.
And that's
hot!
It's A Guy Thing - An Owner's Manual for Women is
another favorite and an easy read (although the title almost turned me
away).
Here's a few juicy tidbits
from Deida's works:
Sexual Crockpots and Blowtorches
Creating a River of Passion
(Sexual Polarity)
How To Pick Up Mr. Right
I think David Deida lives under my bed. He knows
too much. |
 8)
George Clooney
I know
that you're thinking, and you're wrong. George
Clooney is included
here solely because of his -
political views:
Clooney is a self-described political liberal. Regarding
the Iraq
war, he shares 'You can't beat your enemy anymore
through wars; instead
you create an entire generation of people seeking
revenge. These days it only matters who's in charge.
Right now that's us — for a while at least. Our
opponents are going to resort to car bombs and suicide
attacks because they have no other way to win.... I
believe (Rumsfeld) thinks this is a war that can
be won, but there is no such thing anymore. We can't
beat anyone anymore.'
humanitarian efforts: Clooney is named one of
Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World
for 'using star power to illuminate the crisis in
Darfur'. George Clooney's
charitable
heart is legendary.
authenticity:
George
plans on aging gracefully. He told Playboy 'You
don't want to try to look younger because you'll look
wrong. You dye your hair, you look wrong. You wear a bad
toupee, you look wrong. You wear makeup to hide things,
you get your eyes done, you look wrong.'
honesty: 'Run for office? No.
I've slept with too many women, I've done
too many drugs and I've been to too many
parties.'
He is cute
though, isn't he? And hot!
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So,
here we have 8 hot men, and I'm betting you could come up with
another two. Do the hot men in your life feel honored and
appreciated? Wouldn't they like to see their smiling face
on your
list of hot men?
Pam Babbitt, Editor
SexCoaching.com
Sex & Relationship
Coach
888.719.7119
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