Play the Tantric Sex
Pleasure Game
to Reignite Your Relationship
At the beginning of a relationship sex is often spontaneous, intense
and erotic. This phenomenon is called the 'Honeymoon phase.'
It is when the 'New Relationship Energy' or NRE, makes everything
exciting. Over time the NRE naturally fades, romance dwindles,
passion begins to wane and sex often becomes routine.
The Pleasure Game is a fun and effective way to rekindle the
passion and romance in your relationship.
1) Make a date. When life gets busy it is easy to forget to
schedule time for you and your beloved to have uninterrupted time
together. Turn off your cell phones, shut off the TV, and disconnect
from the outside world.
2) Create an altar or temple area by decorating the space
where you are going to play so it feels as if you are somewhere
special. Use fabrics, candles, flowers or whatever feels right to
make the space feel inviting and exotic. I know a guy who surprised
his wife by turning his garage into a Temple and making his
Harley-Davidson into an altar where he invited her to be pleasured.
3) Take a ritual bath, using it as a transition into sacred
time. Allow the bath or shower to wash away the cares of the day.
Make a commitment to avoid digressing into mundane concerns about
the house, kids or work. Dress in clothes that make you feel
special, like a God or Goddess.
4) Sit facing each other; create a bubble around both of you.
Use your arms to define the shape of the bubble, imagine it
surrounds both of you. This bubble allows you to let go of the
outside world and create a safe and sacred space to play the
Pleasure Game. Remove things from your bubble that might interfere
with you enjoying the game. Do this by stating out loud what you are
removing from the bubble and at the same time make a gesture as you
remove it. Examples may include: the past, distractions,
anger, work, etc.
Then, bring things into your bubble that will
enhance the experience and make a gesture as you bring them into the
bubble. Examples might include: love, sensuality,
presence, trust, etc.
Once the bubble is created, share your
desires, fears and boundaries related to this game. (Boundaries are
what you need to feel safe and stay open.) One person speaks while
the other listens without judgment or commentary, then you switch
roles.
5) Eye gaze. Before beginning the game take a few minutes to
look into each other's eyes and breathe together. Allow your hearts
to connect and begin to feel the energy flowing between you. Imagine
that as you explore pleasure together you are doing it not only for
yourselves but for all the men and women in the world.
6) Play the Pleasure Game. Decide how much time you have to
play the game and divide the time in half. Pick who will give and
who will receive first. The receiver then tells the giver how they
want to be pleasured for their allotted amount of time. Then the
roles are reversed.
Some requests might include: hair brushing, a pedicure or a massage,
acting out a fantasy, performing a favorite sexual act, trying a new
sexual position, mutual self-pleasuring, erotic storytelling,
getting naked and doing some 'Dirty Dancing,' making love in a car
or some other unusual place.
Be creative, ask for what you want. Take this
opportunity to be daring and move beyond your comfort zone while
honoring your partner's boundaries. Don't insist that they do
something they aren't ready or willing to do. When this ritual is
done with a playful and open heart it can be a great way to
revitalize and enhance your relationship.
Tantra recognizes that everything is alive and connected. It
embraces all areas of life as a path to awakening, including
sexuality. Sex is seen as a doorway to the Divine. By bringing
conscious awareness into this practice we can enhance our connection
to our beloved and help make the world a better place to live. The
Pleasure Game is one way to reignite the passion in your
relationship. Taking time to connect in a special way with your
beloved goes a long way toward creating a happy, healthy
relationship.
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