Tantra Techniques for How to Please a Woman
Nancy Ibsen
It’s not what you think! It's
not about where to kiss or lick or rub or how hard or how fast.
Its
not about harder, longer
erections (although those are also very nice!) A woman's body and
her responses are so changeable. What pleased her last week does
nothing for her tonight.
Many
men learn about women's sexuality from pornography. I have nothing
against pornography and I quite enjoy some pornography myself. But,
the depiction of women's sexuality in pornography is simply not
accurate. Many women compound this lack of information by expecting
her man to know how to please her without telling him. You can
encourage her to communicate with you. You can also learn to
expand your consciousness so that you can sense what she desires
without her telling you in words.
|
Send energy
into her
body with your mind. |
She needs your full attention. She needs to trust that you are there
with her with your complete presence. If your mind wanders to your
car or your career or the bills due at the end of the month, she can
feel it and she loses trust.
Improving your ability to please a woman is very like learning to
play a musical instrument. It takes practice, patience and
experience to make beautiful music. You master the basics before
moving on to advanced tantra techniques.
Here are some good basic practices for you to
start with -
Learning to please a partner with Tantra
techniques starts with
practices you do by yourself. While pleasuring yourself, expand your
attention to your entire body - your toes and fingers and top of
your head and everything in between. When you can do this at the
height of arousal, expand your consciousness to your entire body and
to your surroundings, noise from the street, light in the room, air
temperature, the bed against your back, the trees seen through the
window. Next, do these consciousness practices with your partner.
And, finally, expand your consciousness to your entire body, your surroundings and your partner’s body as she experiences being in it
at each moment. If your mouth is on her breast, imagine how it feels
to have a breast and feel someone’s mouth on it. When you master
this expansion of consciousness, you will simply know without effort
what she wants from you in any moment.
Send energy into her body with your mind.
Tantra teaches us that a man yearns to empty himself out and a woman
yearns to be filled up. There are many ways to do this in addition
to the physical sex act. You can penetrate a woman with your
consciousness, your energy and your attention before or while you
penetrate her with parts of your body. The practice in the above
paragraph is one way to do this. As you expand your consciousness to
include her body as she experiences being in it, you penetrate with
your energy. She will feel the difference! She may not be aware of
why, but she will feel more trust and connection. She will feel more
alive. Another wonderful practice is to use your mind to send energy
into her body through your fingers. Imagine that there is a fire in
your hand (which there is!) and think about sending the warmth and
light from that fire into her body.
And finally, be aware that a woman experiences her sexuality and
emotions very differently from a man. I believe very strongly in
letting men be men and letting women be women and celebrating the
differences and the gifts that we bring to each other. But I also
believe it is helpful to understand these differences. For a man,
sex and love are very separate experiences. A man can learn to
connect his heart and sexual energy if he wishes and there are
benefits to this. For a woman, love and sex are much more naturally
linked. When you take a woman in your arms, remember that she is
experiencing that time with you with her heart as well as her sexual
body.
Nancy Ibsen is a Tantric Practitioner and Sexual Healer in
Seattle, Washington.
