Tantric Sex
Positions for Intimacy and Ecstasy
Lokita Carter
I
keep hearing about tantric sex positions and how sensational they are.
What are they? How are they different from the usual sex positions? Can
you explain how to do some? (My partner and I are not limber enough to
do those Kama Sutra pretzel-y ones.) John, Princeton, NJ
Dear
John,
You don’t have to be a yogi in order to experience sensational tantric
sex! Any body posture that feels good and comfortable to both of you and
gets your sexual energy flowing is a tantric sex position. One of the
ideas in tantric sex is “to stay relaxed in high states of arousal”. How
can you be relaxed when you are uncomfortable?
The Keys to Sensational Tantric Sex
Tantric sex is all about intention, attitude and being present. In
Tantra, all techniques lead us to the point where our own personal
spring merges with the ocean of great bliss, and where we relax into
being rather than doing. At that point we become one with our partner,
and the Divine Mystery, and there is true communion.
Letting go of the Goal
Sensational tantric sex is about the journey rather than seeking to
get to a certain goal. The Big Orgasm feels wonderful, and it can open
the door to the divine more easily than many other keys. However, by
letting go of the goal you can find a lot of pleasure along the way that
leads to being more orgasmic every moment, rather than having a
10-second Big Oh.
Energy Awareness
I’m sure you notice a great amount of energy during sex! And what
happens when all your attention is focused on the genitals – eventually
you ejaculate and it is all over. In tantric sex we consciously send the
energy into our whole body to prolong the sexual experience and
transform the pure lust and pleasure into a spiritual experience. It is
pretty easy to move energy – just imagine that you are moving it! Before
you know it the point of no return has transformed into a blissful
seven-hour lovemaking session.
Breathing
The breath can connect us to each other in ways that nothing else can.
It is the link that runs between all human beings. Become aware of your
own breathing, and harmonize it with your partner’s. To intensify the
sexual energy, breathe faster and deeper. To draw back from a genital
orgasm breathe shallower and slower.
Experiment with breathing through the mouth and the nose. Explore
breathing in and out simultaneously or share inverted breathing where
one inhales when the other exhales.
Once you master these keys, you might not even want to practice any
particular positions. But since you asked, here are two of our
favorites:
POSITION 1: Yab Yum (see diagram above)
A sexual position that could be described as a classic “tantric sex
position” is the Yab Yum. Yab Yum is the Tibetan word for “Father
Mother” and it signifies the merging and union of the male and female,
of heaven and earth.
In this position you can try the keys to sensational tantric sex that I
have described above.
|
1. |
The man sits on the bed or another flat surface with his
legs folded in the half lotus position. If he finds it
uncomfortable to sit in this pretzel-like position he
can sit on a chair or on the edge of the bed instead,
letting the legs dangle. |
|
2. |
The woman sits on his lap, straddling him, her legs
encircling his waist. She can put a pillow under her
buttocks to make it more comfortable. If both are
sitting on a chair, her legs can just be loose over his
legs. |
|
3. |
By raising herself up she can insert the vajra into her
yoni. Whether he is erect or soft, either state works
fine. |
|
4. |
Put the upper bodies close together for more skin
sensation. Wrap your arms around each other.
|
|
5. |
Place the tips of your tongues together and experiment
with different ways of breathing. Try it with eyes
closed, and with looking into each others’ eyes. |
|
6. |
You can explore a variety of movements in this position – the
traditional in/out (up and down) of thrusting
intercourse, side to side, or a rhythmic rocking of the
pelvis. |
|
7. |
In the rocking motion, arch the lower back on the
inhale, and round it on the exhale. |
|
8. |
Imagine that your sexual energy flows in a circle – from
her yoni to her heart, then through her mouth into his
mouth, down to his heart. From there through his vajra
into her yoni and back up to her heart. |
The benefits of this
position are that you can have eye contact, kiss, and touch each other
freely.
POSITION 2: “Fitting on of the Sock” and “The Rolling Tickle”
These are two positions that blend together nicely and are very suitable
if you are not that flexible.
|
1. |
She lies on her back, her head
supported by a firm pillow. |
|
2. |
He kneels between her legs or sits
on his heels. To support his knees, he can place a
pillow between his buttocks and his heels. |
|
3. |
Her legs straddle his legs. |
|
4. |
He places his vajra along the
entire length of her vulva and uses him to stroke her.
He can use his free hand to stimulate other erogenous
zones. |
|
5. |
When she is sufficiently
lubricated and excited, he enters her. |
|
6. |
She reaches her pelvis up to meet
his vajra in rhythmic motions. |
|
7. |
If she is flexible enough, she can
pull her knees towards her chest. |
|
8. |
He penetrates her deeply as she
rolls her thighs up and down. To support her and help
her move, he can slide his hands under her buttocks.
|
The benefits of this position are
that he can reach her G-spot directly with his thunderbolt, maintain
direct eye contact and that both partners have their hands free for
other stimulation and touch.
In these positions, as in tantric sex at large, the goal is not the
earth shattering orgasm. The lovemaking is a journey of breathing,
feeling, connecting, moving, being orgasmic and becoming one with our
partner and one with all.
When you explore sexuality with consciousness and harness its powers to
experience profound connection with another human being, you transcend
the need for techniques and simply get into the flow.
This flow reaches all areas of your life. Sensational tantric sex
experienced in the bedroom becomes ecstatic living every moment.
Lokita Carter has been teaching Tantra together with her husband
Steve since 1999 in over 325 workshops and vacation retreats to couples
and singles from all walks of life. Steve & Lokita are tantric lovers in
a 11-year monogamous marriage, the official lineage holders of Margot
Anand in the USA, the founders of the Institute for Ecstatic Living and
co-direct the SkyDancing Tantra Institute.
Visit them at
www.ecstaticliving.com.
© Lokita Carter
2009
