One of my favorite coaching topics is gender differences in sexuality.
Education on this topic is enlightening - literally - as I often see a
client's face light up when I share information that dispels the
confusion.
Please know that I am speaking in generalities here. It is not my
intention to offend anyone, including same sex couples.
When it comes to sex, women and men are delightfully different. There
are no wrongs, no rights, and no one lives on another planet. These
differences provide us with stepping stones to greater emotional
intimacy and they also offer us an opportunity to increase our pleasure
potential.
We have believed for eons that women's arousal time differs from that of
men. I was amazed this past year to read the findings of a recent
"significant" study which stated that (contrary to our old beliefs) the
arousal time of females matches that of males. I was skeptical,
especially since the study did not mention the age range of the female
subjects, so I went to the source and inquired. The research center
informed me that the test had been limited to college age students. So
now we may believe that the arousal time of college age females matches
that of college age males.
But what about the rest of the female population? As women reach
menopause, their arousal time increases. They often crave more gentle
touch, non-sexual before sexual, and lots of it.
Here's a fascinating fact (Men, pay attention to this one.) - Most
assume that sexual desire needs to be present before arousal can occur.
Not so! Especially with women. So what does this mean? Even when a woman
is not "in the mood" she is often willing to participate in (or willing
to surrender to) touch, massage and cuddling. And guess what often
happens - sexual desire emerges. Another great reason to engage in
prolonged foreplay. There’s an important key here - engage with no
expectations or goals. Appreciate the connecting and nurturing experience whatever form
it takes.
