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 Got a Sex Question? - Sensual Sex Techniques

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"Orgasm only happens when you relax.  If you're trying to have an orgasm, it's kind of like chasing your shadow.  You can't catch it if you're running after it, but if you stop mov­ing, you'll be able to touch it."

Saida Désilets


"A woman is far more likely to reach or­gasm with a long-term partner than dur­ing a one-night stand.  And two thirds of women claim they've had the best sex of their life with their husband.
"

Source:  Redbook Magazine, April, 2009


Sex Articles

10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasms
11 Hot Tips For Lasting Longer In Bed
"I Want Sex To Last Longer."
Aphrodisiacs
Are Vibrators Addictive?
Best Sex Positions
Body Changes with Aging
Celebration of Self-Pleasuring
Choose Your Lube
Condom Common Sense
Cooking With Balls
Eliot Spitzer - A Reflection of Sexual Addiction
Erectile Dysfunction
Erections - The Way
You Want Them
G-Spot, Female Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety
Got Hysteria?
Great Sex Secret
Have a Stiff Drink For
a Stiff ...
Having "The Talk"
Hot Sex Tip for Men - Can You Take Directions?
How can I persuade my partner to have anal sex?'
How Intimately Do
You Really Know Your
Sex Toys?
How Our Fear of Sex Is Destroying the Planet
How To Date After Divorce
How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With Liberator Shapes
Ice Cubes, Feathers
and Other Essentials
Is Chocolate an Aphrodisiac?
Is It The Penis Length Or The Thickness?
Is It Worth the Risk?
Is Problematic Sexual Behavior Really Addiction?
It's Nature-al
Just the Stats
Lover's Touch (The)
Men Need Sex, Women Need Love and Vice Versa
Men, Women and Sex
My Partner Wants More Sex-I Want Better Sex
Nymphomania and Satyriasis
One Size Doesn't Fit All
Orgasms - Myths and Misconceptions
Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction
Passion Junkie
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Rape and Re-Victimization
Safe Sex Guidelines
Save a Chicken Campaign
Savoring Sensuality
Sensual Massage - The Art of Loving Touch
Sentience - Poetry To Titillate Your Senses
Sex and Aging - Resources
Sex and Aging - Truths and Myths
Sex Drives - His and Hers
Sex, Religion and Confessions
Sex Toys Going Green
Sexless Marriage
Sexual Discrimination
Sexual Dysfunction
and Cycling
Sexual Attraction -
Re-discovering the Spark
Sexual Fantasies -
More Fun Than Ever
Sexual Stages of Relationships
Sexuality and Diversity
Sing That Kegel Song
Spicing Up Your Love Life
Stand With Me
Suggestive Edibles
The "B" in GBLT
The Responsibility of Orgasms
Think Positive About
Life and Sex
Viagra for Women
What Women Really Want in Sex
Wrestling With Your Mate
Your Penis and You



Sex and Vibrators
Pam Babbitt, Sex Coach

 

Q  Are vibrators addictive?  (from a female client)

A   Sometimes.

 

Are you using a vibrator every time you pleasure?

 

Can you reach full satisfaction without using a vibrator?

 

Are you regularly choosing your toy over your partner?


The stimulation from a vibrator is very intense, similar to the in­tense stimulation of pornography. When we continually pro­vide that degree of erotic intensity, our bodies become accustomed to it, then they crave it, then they crave more, and eventually they may become unable to reach satisfaction without it.  Keep in mind that most women's bodies respond best to "sensual" sex tech­niques, rather than unrelenting strong intensity.

I don't believe that labeling your practice as an addiction or not is the most important issue here. If your habit of using vibrators is causing you concern, frustration, shame, or partner conflict, take steps to modify your practice and move toward using your vibra­tor only occasionally.
 


Start breaking the pattern by adding variety to every aspect of your pleasuring.  Change the time of day, the location, your body position, your techniques.  Rather than masturbating, plan a "Celebration of Self-Pleasure," incorporating sensual sex tech­niques.

First, create a pleasant space with warmth, candles, your favorite fuzzy pillow, and maybe a favorite drink or sensual snack.  Now, allow yourself time to become relaxed using any method that works for you - a warm shower, meditation, soft music. Since sensuality is a foundation for sexuality, use a scented lotion or lubricant that pleases you, or aromatherapy, incense, or scented candles. Incorporate music, heat and cold, feathers, fur, dry body brush, or any other items that will provide wonderful and con­trasting sensations on your skin.  Making gradual SENSATIONAL changes that add to your pleasure is certainly a fun way to break a habit!

There is another aspect of vibrator use to be considered - genital numbing. Genitals are very sensitive to vibration and pressure, in both men and women. Numbing may occur with prolonged vibrator use, and especially with static use. If you notice numbing, refrain from using your vibrator for about 3 weeks, and likely your full sensitivity will return - another good reason for using your vibra­tor only occasionally, and incor­porating more sensual sex tech­niques.


 

 

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