Sex Coach
Erogenous Zones

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Tantra Massage

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Full Body Orgasms

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Sex Positions

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Tantric Sex Positions

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Female Ejaculation

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How To Last Longer

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Masturbation

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Your Penis and You - Pt. I

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Your Penis and You - Pt. II

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Ask the Sex Coach

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Sex Coach Responses

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Pam Babbitt - Sex Coach

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Assuming that menopause means the end of sex.

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Assuming that lack of erection means the end of sex.

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Viewing lack of female lubrication as an inadequacy or failure.

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Not communicating about sex. Shutting down, isolating.

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Avoiding touch because there won’t be any sex.

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Making derogatory comments about the other gender: “He can’t get it up anymore, so why try” or “She’s over the hill.”

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A boring relationship often translates into a boring (or non-existent) sex life. That is especially true with aging. Don’t be a couch potato. There is fun to be had at any age.

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Unwillingness to adopt a new sexual paradigm. For full sexual enjoyment, consider a new model for your sexual experience.

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Holding frustrations or anger around physical limitations. With adequate communication, willingness to make adjustments, and meet your partner’s conditions, problems can be solved.

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Redirecting all of your energy to other areas of your life – children and grandchildren, hobbies, volunteering, etc. and no longer putting energy into your relationship.

Female body changes -

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The waist thickens, hair grays, wrinkles appear, less body flexibility - all may attribute to a woman’s poor self-image. When a woman sees herself as unappealing, it is more difficult for her to initiate or comfortably engage in sex. Inhibitions set in. Our culture suggests that women need to maintain their youthful appearance, further supporting that poor self-image. Product and service marketing is heavy – hair dye, wrinkle cream, body slimming attire, cosmetic surgery.

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Menopause may be an excuse to “shut the door” – it is often used if sex was never satisfactory, and less used if sex was previously satisfactory.

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Menopause symptoms - hot flashes, night sweats, sleep loss, vaginal dryness, hormone imbalance, decrease in hormone production.

A decrease in estrogen causes -

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Decrease in size of the clitoris, labia minor, and uterus.

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Thinning of vaginal walls.

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Loss of vaginal elasticity.

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Less vaginal lubrication.

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A greater ratio of testosterone to estrogen. Women often become more assertive and self-reliant around 45 to 50.

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Pelvic muscles may weaken causing incontinence. Kegel exercises are helpful.

Male body changes -

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Waist thickens, hair grays, possibly baldness, wrinkles appear, less flexibility - all may attribute to poor self-image. When a man sees himself as unappealing, it is more difficult for him to initiate or comfortably engage in sex. Inhibitions arise.

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Longer time to get an erection. A younger man has psycho­genic erections (caused by mental stimulus). Older men need physical stimulation.

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When an older man is no longer aroused by seeing his nude partner, he may conclude that he is no longer attracted.  His partner may too. Open communication can help partners avoid false assumptions, conflict or the drive for other stimu­lus.

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Maintaining an erection may become more challenging.

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Scrotal tissue sags, and testes shrink and lose their firmness.

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Sperm production declines.

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Orgasms are not as strong.

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The amount of ejaculate is less and the desire for ejaculation is less.

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Refractory time is greater.

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Men with early ejaculation issues have greater control as they age.

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The prostate enlarges with age. By the age of 80, 80% of men have enlarged prostates. Prostate massage along with PC squeezes may be helpful.

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Men’s hormones also diminish with age (male menopause). With middle age a man’s testosterone decreases making him more nurturing and less aggressive.