Practical Guidance With Sexuality

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Aging, Body Changes and Better Sex

"There is no question that sexual desire in women de­creases with age. Sexual desire, however, is only one variable defining sexuality in women. I would propose that sexual satisfaction in women as opposed to sex­ual activity or sexual desire is the defining variable in a woman’s sexual experi­ence."

Susan E. Trompeter, MD

 

Sex Coach
Erogenous Zones

Tantra Massage

Full Body Orgasms

Sex Positions

Tantric Sex Positions

Female Ejaculation

How To Last Longer

Masturbation

Your Penis and You - Pt. I

Your Penis and You - Pt. II

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Sex Articles

10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasms
11 Hot Tips For Lasting Longer In Bed
"I Want Sex To Last Longer."
Aphrodisiacs
Are Vibrators Addictive?
Best Sex Positions
Body Changes with Aging
Celebration of Self-Pleasuring
Choose Your Lube
Condom Common Sense
Cooking With Balls
Eliot Spitzer - A Reflection of Sexual Addiction
Erectile Dysfunction
Erections - The Way
You Want Them
G-Spot, Female Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety
Got Hysteria?
Great Sex Secret
Have a Stiff Drink For
a Stiff ...
Having "The Talk"
How can I persuade my partner to have anal sex?'
How Intimately Do
You Really Know Your
Sex Toys?
How Our Fear of Sex Is Destroying the Planet
How To Date After Divorce
How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With Liberator Shapes
Ice Cubes, Feathers
and Other Essentials
Is Chocolate an Aphrodisiac?
Is It The Penis Length Or The Thickness?
Is It Worth the Risk?
Is Problematic Sexual Behavior Really Addiction?
It's Nature-al
Just the Stats
Lover's Touch (The)
Men Need Sex, Women Need Love and Vice Versa
Men, Women and Sex
My Partner Wants More Sex-I Want Better Sex
Nymphomania and Satyriasis
One Size Doesn't Fit All
Orgasms - Myths and Misconceptions
Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction
Passion Junkie
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Rape and Re-Victimization
Safe Sex Guidelines
Save a Chicken Campaign
Savoring Sensuality
Sensual Massage - The Art of Loving Touch
Sentience - Poetry To Titillate Your Senses
Sex and Aging - Resources
Sex and Aging - Truths and Myths
Sex Drives - His and Hers
Sex, Religion and Confessions
Sex Toys Going Green
Sexless Marriage
Sexual Discrimination
Sexual Dysfunction
and Cycling
Sexual Attraction -
Re-discovering the Spark
Sexual Fantasies -
More Fun Than Ever
Sexual Stages of Relationships
Sexuality and Diversity
Sing That Kegel Song
Spicing Up Your Love Life
Stand With Me
Suggestive Edibles
The "B" in GBLT
The Responsibility of Orgasms
Think Positive About
Life and Sex
Viagra for Women
What Women Really Want in Sex
Wrestling With Your Mate
Your Penis and You



 Body Changes With Aging

James Zacharias, Ph.D., LMFT & Pam Babbitt, S.I.

 

 

Mature man and woman sharing an apple.

 

Sharing a healthy snack can be soooo much fun!

 

 All bodies transform with age -

Menopause happens, erectile dysfunction may creep in. A health condition may develop. Desires change and performance may not be what it once way.

The good news is -
None of these issues will determine the level of your sexual satis­faction.

The other good news is -
How you deal with these issues will determine the level of your sexual satisfaction.

Following are some examples of dealing with body changes nega­tively:

Assuming that menopause means the end of sex.

Assuming that lack of erection means the end of sex.

Viewing lack of female lubrication as an inadequacy or failure.

Not communicating about sex. Shutting down, isolating.

Avoiding touch because there won’t be any sex.

Making derogatory comments about the other gender: “He can’t get it up anymore, so why try” or “She’s over the hill.”

A boring relationship often translates into a boring (or non-existent) sex life. That is especially true with aging. Don’t be a couch potato. There is fun to be had at any age.

Unwillingness to adopt a new sexual paradigm. For full sexual enjoyment, consider a new model for your sexual experience.

Holding frustrations or anger around physical limitations. With adequate communication, willingness to make adjustments, and meet your partner’s conditions, problems can be solved.

Redirecting all of your energy to other areas of your life – children and grandchildren, hobbies, volunteering, etc. and no longer putting energy into your relationship.

Female body changes -

The waist thickens, hair grays, wrinkles appear, less body flexibility - all may attribute to a woman’s poor self-image. When a woman sees herself as unappealing, it is more difficult for her to initiate or comfortably engage in sex. Inhibitions set in. Our culture suggests that women need to maintain their youthful appearance, further supporting that poor self-image. Product and service marketing is heavy – hair dye, wrinkle cream, body slimming attire, cosmetic surgery.

Menopause may be an excuse to “shut the door” – it is often used if sex was never satisfactory, and less used if sex was previously satisfactory.

Menopause symptoms - hot flashes, night sweats, sleep loss, vaginal dryness, hormone imbalance, decrease in hormone production.

A decrease in estrogen causes -

Decrease in size of the clitoris, labia minor, and uterus.

Thinning of vaginal walls.

Loss of vaginal elasticity.

Less vaginal lubrication.

A greater ratio of testosterone to estrogen. Women often become more assertive and self-reliant around 45 to 50.

Pelvic muscles may weaken causing incontinence. Kegel exercises are helpful.

Male body changes -

Waist thickens, hair grays, possibly baldness, wrinkles appear, less flexibility - all may attribute to poor self-image. When a man sees himself as unappealing, it is more difficult for him to initiate or comfortably engage in sex. Inhibitions arise.

Longer time to get an erection. A younger man has psycho­genic erections (caused by mental stimulus). Older men need physical stimulation.

When an older man is no longer aroused by seeing his nude partner, he may conclude that he is no longer attracted.  His partner may too. Open communication can help partners avoid false assumptions, conflict or the drive for other stimu­lus.

Maintaining an erection may become more challenging.

Scrotal tissue sags, and testes shrink and lose their firmness.

Sperm production declines.

Orgasms are not as strong.

The amount of ejaculate is less and the desire for ejaculation is less.

Refractory time is greater.

Men with early ejaculation issues have greater control as they age.

The prostate enlarges with age. By the age of 80, 80% of men have enlarged prostates. Prostate massage along with PC squeezes may be helpful.

Men’s hormones also diminish with age (male menopause). With middle age a man’s testosterone decreases making him more nurturing and less aggressive. 

Better Sex Doesn't Require
an Erection or Orgasm

Sex Over 50 by Joel D. Block, Ph.D.


"
Remember that 'sex' is more than inter­course.  Making love does not require an erection, an orgasm, or ejaculation."

Joel D. Block, Ph.D.  

Sex Over 50

 


 

How to Have Better Sex
As You Age

"... what can we safely say about sexu­ality in later life?  Many people, not only the young and middle-aged, but older people themselvesThe New Love and Sex After 60 are quite uniformly negative about the pro­spects of contin­ued sexual interest and abil­ity.  Many as­sume that the game is over somewhere in late midlife or early later life.  They couldn't be more wrong."


Robert Butler, M.D. 
Myrna Lewis, Ph.D.

The New Love and Sex After 60
 

 

 

Mature man and woman giving the OK sign.

 

Better Sex is a Specialty of Aging

"Even though young people get aroused more quickly, amazing sex is a specialty of people in their 50s and 60s.  In youth, women struggle to be sexual but not "cheap"; and men are easily threat­ened.  Mid-way through life, you have a stronger sense of self and are less self-conscious and insecure."

David Schnarch, Ph.D.
Passionate Marriage

 

 

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Sex and Aging Resources

 

 

Jimmyjane Sex Toy On-Line Store

 

 

 

"We don't stop playing because
we grow old. We grow old
because we stop playing."

George Bernard Shaw

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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