Menopause happens, erectile dysfunction may creep in. A health
condition may develop. Desires change and performance may not be
what it once way.
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Assuming that menopause means the end of sex. |
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Assuming that lack of erection means the end of sex. |
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Viewing lack of female lubrication as an inadequacy or failure. |
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Not communicating about sex. Shutting down, isolating. |
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Avoiding touch because there won’t be any sex. |
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Making derogatory comments about the other gender: “He can’t get it up anymore,
so why try” or “She’s over the hill.” |
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A boring relationship often translates into a boring (or non-existent) sex life.
That is especially true with aging. Don’t be a couch potato. There is fun to be
had at any age. |
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Unwillingness to adopt a new sexual paradigm. For full sexual enjoyment,
consider a new model for your sexual experience. |
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Holding frustrations or anger around physical limitations. With adequate
communication, willingness to make adjustments, and meet your partner’s
conditions, problems can be solved. |
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Redirecting all of your energy to other areas of your life – children and
grandchildren, hobbies, volunteering, etc. and no longer putting energy into
your relationship. |
Female body changes -
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The waist thickens, hair grays, wrinkles appear, less body
flexibility - all may attribute to a woman’s poor
self-image. When a woman sees herself as unappealing, it is
more difficult for her to initiate or comfortably engage in
sex. Inhibitions set in. Our culture suggests that women
need to maintain their youthful appearance, further
supporting that poor self-image. Product and service
marketing is heavy – hair dye, wrinkle cream, body slimming
attire, cosmetic surgery. |
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Menopause may be an excuse to “shut the door” – it is often
used if sex was never satisfactory, and less used if sex was
previously satisfactory. |
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Menopause symptoms - hot flashes, night sweats, sleep loss,
vaginal dryness, hormone imbalance, decrease in hormone
production. |
A decrease in estrogen
causes -
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Decrease in size of the clitoris, labia minor, and uterus. |
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Thinning of vaginal walls. |
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Loss of vaginal elasticity. |
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Less vaginal lubrication. |
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A greater ratio of testosterone to estrogen. Women often
become more assertive and self-reliant around 45 to 50. |
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Pelvic muscles may weaken causing incontinence.
Kegel exercises
are helpful. |
Male body changes -
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Waist thickens, hair grays, possibly baldness, wrinkles
appear, less flexibility - all may attribute to poor
self-image. When a man sees himself as unappealing, it is
more difficult for him to initiate or comfortably engage in
sex. Inhibitions arise. |
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Longer time to get an erection. A younger man has
psychogenic erections (caused by mental stimulus). Older
men need physical stimulation. |
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When an older man is no longer aroused by seeing his nude
partner, he may conclude that he is no longer attracted.
His partner may too. Open communication can help partners avoid false assumptions, conflict or the drive for other
stimulus. |
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Maintaining an erection may become more challenging. |
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Scrotal tissue sags, and testes shrink and lose their
firmness. |
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Sperm production declines. |
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Orgasms are not as strong. |
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The amount of ejaculate is less and the desire for
ejaculation is less. |
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Refractory time is greater. |
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Men with early ejaculation issues have greater control as
they age. |
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The prostate enlarges with age. By the age of 80, 80% of men
have enlarged prostates.
Prostate massage along with PC squeezes may be
helpful. |
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Men’s hormones also diminish with age (male
menopause). With middle age a man’s testosterone
decreases making him more nurturing and less aggressive. |