Practical Guidance With Sexuality

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How to Have Better Sex as You Age

 

Ask the Sex Coach

Q 

Is "Use it or Lose It" true or false?

A

That's true.

The more sex a man has, the more he can have sex. Stimu­lation and erections are bene­ficial to the penis.

The more a woman has sex, the more her vagina will ac­cept penetration without dis­comfort.

For both men and women, sex­ual energy creates more sexual energy, and sexual satisfaction creates a desire for more satisfaction.

Self-pleasuring is also “using it.”

There are many ways to en­gage sexually, and inter­course is only one of them.  Get cre­ative, buy some toys, plan some "play time" and make it fun, rather than goal oriented.

You CAN have better sex as you age!
 

Sex Coach
Erogenous Zones

Tantra Massage

Full Body Orgasms

Sex Positions

Tantric Sex Positions

Female Ejaculation

How To Last Longer

Masturbation

Your Penis and You - Pt. I

Your Penis and You - Pt. II

Ask the Sex Coach

Sex Coach Responses

Pam Babbitt - Sex Coach


Sex Articles

10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasms
11 Hot Tips For Lasting Longer In Bed
"I Want Sex To Last Longer."
Aphrodisiacs
Are Vibrators Addictive?
Best Sex Positions
Body Changes with Aging
Celebration of Self-Pleasuring
Choose Your Lube
Condom Common Sense
Cooking With Balls
Eliot Spitzer - A Reflection of Sexual Addiction
Erectile Dysfunction
Erections - The Way
You Want Them
G-Spot, Female Ejaculation and Performance Anxiety
Got Hysteria?
Great Sex Secret
Have a Stiff Drink For
a Stiff ...
Having "The Talk"
How can I persuade my partner to have anal sex?'
How Intimately Do
You Really Know Your
Sex Toys?
How Our Fear of Sex Is Destroying the Planet
How To Date After Divorce
How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With Liberator Shapes
Ice Cubes, Feathers
and Other Essentials
Is Chocolate an Aphrodisiac?
Is It The Penis Length Or The Thickness?
Is It Worth the Risk?
Is Problematic Sexual Behavior Really Addiction?
It's Nature-al
Just the Stats
Lover's Touch (The)
Men Need Sex, Women Need Love and Vice Versa
Men, Women and Sex
My Partner Wants More Sex-I Want Better Sex
Nymphomania and Satyriasis
One Size Doesn't Fit All
Orgasms - Myths and Misconceptions
Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction
Passion Junkie
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Rape and Re-Victimization
Safe Sex Guidelines
Save a Chicken Campaign
Savoring Sensuality
Sensual Massage - The Art of Loving Touch
Sentience - Poetry To Titillate Your Senses
Sex and Aging - Resources
Sex and Aging - Truths and Myths
Sex Drives - His and Hers
Sex, Religion and Confessions
Sex Toys Going Green
Sexless Marriage
Sexual Discrimination
Sexual Dysfunction
and Cycling
Sexual Attraction -
Re-discovering the Spark
Sexual Fantasies -
More Fun Than Ever
Sexual Stages of Relationships
Sexuality and Diversity
Sing That Kegel Song
Spicing Up Your Love Life
Stand With Me
Suggestive Edibles
The "B" in GBLT
The Responsibility of Orgasms
Think Positive About
Life and Sex
Viagra for Women
What Women Really Want in Sex
Wrestling With Your Mate
Your Penis and You



 

Truths & Myths - Better Sex with Aging

James Zacharias, Ph.D., LMFT
Pam Babbitt, Sex Coach

 

1)  The quality of sex declines with age for both genders. Changes will occur, and sexual responses will change. The sex­ual experience will likely be different, not worse. Erections may not be as hard, though it may be easier for a man to prolong the exper­ience and his partner may enjoy the slower build up of sexual tension and anticipation. Sex may become a whole body exper­ience, rather than a genitally focused one, enhancing the sexual experience.  You can have better sex as you age - and great sex too!

A woman’s sexual assertiveness usually increases as she ages.

Older adults achieve a level of emotional maturity and confi­dence which enhance the sexual experience.

2)  Lack of lubrication means lack of arousal.
Many factors can effect a woman’s genital lubrication regard­less of age – her diet, exercise routine, medications (especially allergy and cold medications), and the amount of touch stimulation. Don’t let lubrication or lack of create anxiety – you can buy it in a bot­tle. 

3)  A sexual desire is necessary before engaging.
Desire does not need to precede arousal. With stimulation a person may desire to be sexual. All appetites require a trigger of some sort. Have you ever tasted something and then realized that you were hungry? It’s the same with sex.

4)  Aging is more difficult on women than men.
Men are less likely to discuss and disclose their feelings around aging issues, particularly changes in their performance. Aging may be difficult on both genders.

5)  A woman’s sexual peak is between the ages of 36 and 38.  A man’s sexual peak is around the ages of 19 to 23.
Your sexuality is not determined by a calendar or birth certifi­cate. Your sexual experience is yours to create at any age. A peak for you may be determined by a deeply loving relationship, or a partner who really loves lots of foreplay. You can have better sex at any age!

6)  Female desire declines dramatically after menopause.
Many women have increased desire, and 72% report no com­plaints. A decline in interest usually is caused by hormonal im­balance, negative thoughts, relationship issues or stress.


 

Mature couple kissing at the beach.

 

Happy mature couple dressed in island garb.


Play More = Love More

Couples who have sedentary and boring lifestyles normally have boring or nonex­istent sex lives.  Spice up your life and better sex may follow.

Try some new activities, check out a new coffee shop, take walks, or take turns cooking something new.  Most communi­ties have low cost or no cost senior acti­vities. Make some new friends. Volunteer. 
 


The Positives of Aging

1)  An older man’s need for stimulation to gain an erection may help him better ap­preciate his female partner’s need for foreplay.

2)  Worry-free sex is liberating – there's no pregnancy or menses to consider.

3)  Empty nests provide more privacy.

4)  Retirement brings more time for sex.

5)  Maturity normally brings greater com­munication comfort regarding intimacy.

6)  Maturity often brings greater willing­ness to add variety (toys!).

 

 

Aging, Body Changes & Better Sex >
Sex and Aging Resources >
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