Embracing
With consciousness, the embrace is an
everyday invitation to relax into Source, touch, and connection – to
remember and reconnect with our larger Selves and all of Life. Like
intimacy itself, the embrace is a rich and evocative energetic
resource that most of us either trivialize or deflect altogether.
When two people step into a shared field, there is the opportunity
to relax and receive the nurturing and restorative energies that
naturally result from the exchange. It is never something that has
to be forced or contrived – it’s there all the time. Most of us
simply don’t allow any of the good stuff in as we attempt to protect
our images and boundaries – we approach, pat each other’s shoulders,
and quickly back away.
Especially when a man and a woman greet, there is a natural
circuitry that is activated in a way designed to provide each of us
with what we deeply need. It simply requires time and permission to
emerge.
For a woman, this is the experience of being contained, supported,
and validated in an unshakable presence of masculine acceptance. She
can relax and accept herself as a woman, a fertile and creative
field of possibility. For a man, it is the experience of being
infused with the gentle reciprocation of healing energies that sooth
and comfort at a deep, subtle level. He can breathe in deeply the
sustenance that allows him to not only persevere, but to actually
thrill in the chaos and challenge of life.
If we allow it, each embrace can actually be an ecstatic experience.
Of course, this cannot happen when we insulate ourselves with
shields, defenses and distances … or beat a hasty retreat back to
our own sidelines. Have you ever noticed how sometimes a person you
are hugging seems to be 100 miles away? They are totally unavailable
to the opportunities naturally present in this most basic of human
experiences.
And we all do it! Whenever we feel uncomfortable or wary or
vulnerable. And that’s okay – as long as we are aware of the choices
we are making and the implications involved. There is no “right” or
“wrong” way to approach a hug – just a choice between accessing the
resources, or letting them pass us by.
The conscious, heartful embrace is a choice to be fully present,
receptive, and trusting. Even if our minds have generated stories
causing us to feel tentative or hesitant, the moment we allow our
bodies to experience a hug, something larger takes over. The body’s
inherent wisdom discerns whether to relax or not, whether to trust
or not. But it cannot discern directly unless the mind steps aside
for at least one split second!
It was one of my tantric teachers who first instructed me on how to
hug consciously. Very quickly, I discovered that any embrace could
become the vehicle for a heartful awakening and connection. When
people hug, there is always the potential for a subtle yet
nourishing exchange of complementary energies. Obviously, this
doesn’t happen in your typical two-second hug. It requires more
time, patience, and indulgence in the possibilities of the moment.
It requires mutual receptivity and trust.
Since
then, I have found that there are people who know how to access the
supportive and naturally affirming (”masculine”) energies of life
and those who do not. There are people who know how to open
themselves to the softening, healing influences of “feminine”
energies, and those who do not. Gender doesn’t matter;
consciousness does. And this has implications for how each of us
lives every day!
The embrace is a wonderful “training ground” for relearning how to
make ourselves both present and available to Life. For remembering
(and reintegrating) both the masculine and feminine aspects that
live within each of us, whether man or woman. And tasting the unity
beyond the illusion of separation.
Here are a few pointers to help cultivate a more enriching
experience of hugging. (Note: Generally speaking, it is appropriate
for the man to be considered the “giver” of the hug and the woman
the “receiver.” However, there are times when gender has nothing to
do with the matter and the energies that are present indicate a
momentary “role reversal,” in which the woman offers her more
masculine/supportive energies in service to the inner feminine of
the man. Do not assume one way or the other — let the energies guide
your awareness and approach!)
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