Friends with
Benefits
The New Age Relationship
The fashionable and in-demand model of relationships is now
the ‘Friend with benefits’.
What could be
more natural than sharing intimacy with a friend? It actually
seems quite appropriate to entrust that position to a friend and
confidant who knows you better than you, and loves you ‘even
though’.
For thousands of singles, this new age relationship design can,
and does present as a cure-all for numerous age-old dating woes,
while taking friendship to a new dimension. It is not a new
concept, however, today’s singles are merely more open and
receptive to the many positives it has to offer and the freedom
it allows. But is it truly sharing, or does it constitute abusing
the privileges of a friendship?
The skeptics paint a picture of booty calls, bed buddies and
degradation. They view it as a clear violation of the rights and
privileges of friendship. Some see it as impossible to
accomplish given the processes of human nature and the emotional
issues relative to intimacy. However, for the growing number of
participants, it presents as an extension of friendship and a
refreshing manner of bonding. It is viewed as a positive
alternative to the traditional standards of love, dating and
relationships. It allows for our most basic of human needs to be
met safely while providing a sense of belonging and normalcy in
a not so ‘normal’ society and lifestyle.
For many, it means the elimination of the dreaded ‘one night
stand’. Needs are satisfied by reaching out to the warmth and
security of friendship rather than settling for the emptiness
felt in a dating encounter. It replaces the loneliness felt in
self-pleasuring with the therapeutic benefits of another’s
touch. It fills a need for the ‘no strings attached’ sexual
relationship and is a practical alternative to the risks of sex
with multiple partners. It provides a trusting atmosphere, which
promotes a continual exchange of the positive sexual energies
necessary for satisfying and fulfilling experiences.
Aside from the many sexual advantages, other factors make this
relationship a practical and preferable choice. It addresses
issues of safety and the health risks that plague our society.
It alleviates being trapped in the cycles created by many of the
dating pitfalls. It offers an environment conducive to less
restrictive and inhibitive communication where discussions of
sex and other normal life experiences are not taboo. As a
result, it provides a comfortable atmosphere for the exploration
and experimentation of new ideas and designs.
Each couple sets the tone and clearly defines their rules,
limits and boundaries. The idea is to provide a complete
understanding of the expectations so that there is little risk
of misunderstanding or hurt feelings. The relationships are as
unique as the individuals involved. For some there is no need
for formal agreements or arrangements. They simply do what feels
natural for them and is mutually satisfying. Others find it
important to design a well thought out plan of action. In the
final analysis, it works, and no matter how they choose to deal
with the terms of their relationship, it is a satisfying,
fulfilling and rewarding experience.
As with any relationship, it does not come without flaws or
obstacles. There are many positive emotional benefits but it
does require mental preparation and maintaining the proper
mindset. It is imperative to stay focused and be mindful of the
traps. This aspect can present an ongoing challenge but the
positive benefits overshadow any negatives. The ‘friend with
benefits’ relationship is far from the traditional ideals and
standards, however, it has proven to bring great rewards and is
a fabulous asset in today’s complex and chaotic world.
Inner Voyages © 2008
