Relationships and Communication

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Men Need Sex, Women Need Love and Vice Versa

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Sexual Arousal - The Tortoise and The Hare

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Men, Women and Sex

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Female Ejaculation

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Is it the penis length or the thickness?

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Learning How To Listen

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Radical Honesty

1.

Everything I do, I do for myself. I am not willing to blame my behavior (good or bad) on what others do, say, or need, or even on the concepts of right and wrong. There is incredible power in discovering and owning the underlying feelings and needs in everything I do.

2.

Case or Connection? Is my communication building a case by either attacking or defending? Or is it building a connection by being accepting and understanding?

3.

All emotional communication is either a Cry For Help (please) or an Act Of Love (thank you). Am I responding with empa­thy? Or with the F’s - fixing, fighting or fleeing? Or with the D’s - diagnosis, deserve, demands and denial?

4.

Empathy (empty-me-first) – I will always empty another’s cup first, before trying to fill it back up with education, informa­tion, sympathy, reasons, advice, etc. I will gain a level of understanding and connection before offering any­thing in re­turn.

5.

Intimacy (in-to-me-see) - My level of intimacy is in direct pro-portion to my comfort with pain, either theirs or my own. If I run from pain I am running from true intimacy.

6.

Message sent is rarely message received - I will ‘check in’ with the other person before I ‘check out’ emotionally. My mind is a meaning making machine. If I don’t learn how to translate communications into beautiful feeling, needs, and requests, my mind will make up painful criticisms, judgments and de­mands.

7.

Understanding doesn’t mean agreement - I can connect with someone and understand them completely without having to agree with them at all.

8.

Anger, shame, blame, guilt, depression, and feeling of duty and obligation all tell me I am focused on building a case either a­gainst myself or someone else. It is time to look for the hidden feelings and unmet needs.

9.

Violence is a tragic expression of unmet needs - Part of the tragedy is that the violence almost guarantees that needs will not be met, and even if it is, it will be at tough price. The big­ger the battle, normally the more similar the under­lying needs are of those who are fighting.